We focus so much on the process of divorce that very little consideration is given to how we should conduct ourselves after divorce.
As a family solicitor, here are my 3 top tips:
When it comes to your children, you are still in a relationship.
Despite a divorce, parents will likely need to communicate effectively with each other for many years to come. Keep your communications focused on the needs of your children. Take responsibility for your own obligations towards your children and focus on your duties as a parent as opposed to thinking about what you are doing for your former spouse. Parents should keep in mind that it is possible to vary an order from the court or reopen an agreement when there is a change of circumstances. It is quite possible to lodge a minute to vary and reopen an order of the court or supersede a parental agreement and argue that there has been a change of circumstances and that arrangements for the care of your children should be considered new.
Be cordial. Nothing is gained by exchanging acrimonious emails.
It is tempting to respond to what may be perceived as inflammatory emails in a similar vein, but nothing is to be gained by escalating communications. Don’t respond to emails as soon as you read them. Give yourself the opportunity to take a measured approach. Hostile communications don’t serve any purpose other than to polarise parties.
Learn from your experience.
You may think you will never get married again after a divorce, but you should be aware that cohabiting with a partner may create legal obligations that you thought were only reserved for married couples. The Family Law (Scotland) Act 2006 creates obligations between cohabiting couples, and you should take advice on your rights and obligations before moving in with your new partner.
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