For many separated parents, the most difficult disagreements are no longer just about where a child lives, how holidays are divided or who collects from school. Increasingly, arguments are arising over something far more modern: how much time children spend online.
Recent reports suggest that disputes about smartphones, tablets, gaming and social media are becoming a regular feature in family law cases. This is perhaps unsurprising. Children’s online lives now touch almost every part of their day-to-day routine: friendships, homework, entertainment, sleep, safety and mental wellbeing. Where parents are together, these issues can be difficult enough to manage. Where parents are separated, and different rules apply in different homes, the scope for conflict is obvious.
One parent may feel strongly that a child should have limited screen time, no phone in the bedroom and restricted access to social media. The other may take a more relaxed approach, seeing devices as a normal part of modern childhood or a way for the child to stay in touch with friends. Problems can also arise where one parent uses a phone or tablet as a way of communicating with the child during the other parent’s contact time. What starts as a practical arrangement can quickly feel intrusive or disruptive.
In Scotland, decisions about a child’s upbringing are considered through the lens of the child’s welfare. Parental rights and responsibilities are not simply about what each parent wants. They are about what is in the child’s best interests. That includes safeguarding and promoting the child’s health, development and welfare, and providing appropriate guidance as they grow.
Screen time can therefore be a legitimate issue in discussions about care arrangements. The question is not usually whether one parent is “right” and the other is “wrong”. The more helpful question is: what boundaries are reasonable, consistent and workable for this particular child?
Separated parents may benefit from agreeing clear rules in advance. These might include when devices can be used, whether phones are allowed overnight, what apps are permitted, how online safety settings are managed, and how each parent will communicate with the child when they are in the other parent’s care. For older children, it may also be appropriate to take their views into account, provided they are not placed in the middle of parental conflict.
As the law and public policy around children’s online safety continues to develop, these conversations are likely to become even more common. Parents may also find that schools, government guidance and social media restrictions influence what is considered reasonable.
The key is to avoid allowing digital disagreements to become another battleground. Consistency, communication and a child-focused approach can make a real difference.
Where agreement cannot be reached, legal advice can help parents understand their options and find a practical way forward. Our family law team regularly advises separated parents on child contact, residence, parental responsibilities and difficult day-to-day decisions affecting children. If screen time, online safety or communication arrangements are becoming a source of conflict, early advice can help prevent matters escalating and keep the focus where it belongs: on the child.
If you would like to discuss this in more details, please contact our family law team to arrange a consultation.
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